The Pamphleteer

During colonial times in America, if you wanted to convince or inform people about some issue that you considered important, you went to the local printer and got some pamphlets printed. You then handed them out, read them to anybody that was interested, nailed them to the town bulletin board, or the nearest tree. The first amendment was specifically written to protect this type of activity and the writers or "pamphleteers".

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Sunday, December 31, 2006

 


 
The Religion of Peace (or We Kill You)









 
Cinderella's Cat


(From Pamela, our correspondent in Bay Ridge.)


Cinderella is now 95 years old.

After a fulfilling life with the now dead prince, she happily sits upon her rocking chair, watching the world go by from her front porch, with a cat named Bob for companionship.

One sunny afternoon out of nowhere, appeared the fairy godmother.

Cinderella said, "Fairy Godmother, what are you doing here after all these years"?

The fairy godmother replied,
"Cinderella, you have lived an exemplary life since I last saw you.
Is there anything for which your heart still yearns?"

Cinderella was taken aback, overjoyed, and after some thoughtful consideration, she uttered her first wish:

"The prince was wonderful, but not much of an investor.
I'm living hand to mouth on my disability checks, and I wish I were wealthy beyond comprehension.
Instantly her rocking chair turned into solid gold.

Cinderella said,

"Ooh, thank you, Fairy Godmother"

The fairy godmother replied,

"It is the least that I can do.
What do you want for your second wish?"

Cinderella looked down at her frail body, and said, "I wish I were young and full of the beauty and youth I once had."

At once, her wish became reality, and her beautiful young visage returned. Cinderella felt stirrings inside of her that had been dormant for years.

And then the fairy godmother spoke once more:

"You have one more wish; what shall it be?"

Cinderella looks over to the frightened cat in the corner and says, "I wish for you to transform Bob, my old cat, into a kind and handsome young man."

Magically, Bob suddenly underwent so fundamental a change in his biological make-up that, when he stood before her, he was a man so beautiful the likes of him neither she nor the world had ever seen.

The fairy godmother said,

"Congratulations, Cinderella, enjoy your new life."

With a blazing shock of bright blue electricity, the fairy godmother was gone as suddenly as she appeared.

For a few eerie moments, Bob and Cinderella looked into each other's eyes.

Cinderella sat, breathless, gazing at the most beautiful, stunningly perfect man she had ever seen.

Then Bob walked over to Cinderella, who sat transfixed in her rocking chair, & held her close in his young muscular arms.

He leaned in close, blowing her golden hair with his warm breath
as he whispered...

"Bet you're sorry you neutered me."


.


 
The Refdesk Sites of the Day are:


Children's Nutrition Research Center

Official website for the federally funded Children's Nutrition Research Center, which conducts research on the role of maternal, infant and child nutrition in optimal health, development, and growth.

-----

NASA Home Page

NASA's home page provides a wealth of features and information on 'Life on Earth' -
'Human's in Space' - 'Exploring the Universe' and much more including 'Multimedia
Features'.

-----

America's Most Generous Donors: How the Wealthy Give

America's most-generous donors contributed a total of $4.3-billion to charity last year, a sharp drop from 2004, when the top donors gave more than $10-billion, a new Chronicle survey has found. For the first time since 1998, no gifts of $1-billion or more were donated to charitable causes. The median amount the donors on the list gave in 2005, including pledges, was $32.5-million, meaning that half gave more and half gave less.

-----

The National Science Digital Library

The National Science Digital Library (NSDL) was created by the National Science Foundation to provide organized access to high quality resources and tools that support innovations in teaching and learning at all levels of science, technology, engineering, and mathematics education. NSDL is the Nation's free online library for education and research in: Science, Technology, Engineering, and Mathematics.

-----


 
Refdesk Thoughts of the Day:




"Growing old is no more than a bad habit which a busy man has no time to form."

-Andre Maurois

-----

"We are stripped bare by the curse of plenty."

-Sir Winston Churchill

-----

"Most of us probably feel we couldn't be free without newspapers, and that is the
real reason we want the newspapers to be free."

-Edward R. Murrow

-----


"Looking at yourself through the media is like looking at one of those rippled
mirrors in an amusement park."

-Edmund S. Muskie

-----

"All happy families resemble one another, but each unhappy family is unhappy in its
own way."

-Leo Tolstoy

-----


 
A golden oldie but still good...


(From Pamela, our correspondent in Bay Ridge.)


What to Give Mama...

Four brothers left home for college and became successful doctors and
lawyers and prospered. Some years later, they chatted after having dinner
together. They discussed the gifts they were able to give their elderly
mother who lived far away in another city.

The first said, "I had a big house built for Mama."

The second said, "I had a hundred thousand dollar theater built in the
house."

The third said, "I had my Mercedes dealer deliver her an SL600."

The fourth said, "Listen to this. You know how Mama loved reading the
Bible and you know she can't read it anymore because she can't see very well. I
met this priest who told me about a parrot that can recite the entire
Bible.

It took twenty priests 12 years to teach him. I had to pledge to
contribute $100,000 a year for twenty years to the church, but it was worth it.
Mama just has to name the chapter and verse and the parrot will recite it."

The other brothers were impressed.

After the holidays, Mama sent out her Thank You notes.

She wrote, "Milton, the house you built is so huge. I live in only one
room, but I have to clean the whole house. Thanks anyway."

"Marvin, I am too old to travel. I stay home, I have my groceries
delivered, so I never use the Mercedes. The thought was good. Thanks."

"Michael, you gave me an expensive theater with Dolby sound. It can hold
50 people, but all my friends are dead. I've lost my hearing and I'm
nearly blind. I'll never use it. Thank you for the gesture just the same."

"Dearest Melvin. You were the only son to have the sense to give a little
thought to your gift. The chicken was delicious. Thank you."


.



Saturday, December 30, 2006

 


 
The Religion of Peace (or We Kill You)









 
The Refdesk Sites of the Day are:


Exercise Library

The American Council on Exercise is a nonprofit organization committed to enriching
quality of life through safe and effective physical activity. As America's Authority on Fitness, ACE protects all segments of society against ineffective fitness products, programs and trends through its ongoing public education, outreach and research. This site offers a free exercise library emphasizing proper form in basic to advanced workouts.

-----


 
Refdesk Thoughts of the Day:





"To hold the same views at forty as we held at twenty is to have been stupefied for a score of years, and take rank, not as a prophet, but as an unteachable brat, well birched and none the wiser."

-Robert Louis Stevenson

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Saturday, December 09, 2006

 


 
The Religion of Peace (or We Kill You)









 
Refdesk Thoughts of the Day:




"Losers spend time explaining why they lost. Losers spend their lives thinking about
what they’re going to do. They rarely enjoy doing what they’re doing."

-Dr. Eric Berne

-----

"Yet somehow our society must make it right and possible..."

"Yet somehow our society must make it right and possible for old people not to fear
the young or be deserted by them, for the test of a civilization is in the way that it cares for its helpless members."

-Pearl Buck

-----

"Old age isn’t so bad..."

"Old age isn’t so bad when you consider the alternative.

-Maurice-Auguste Chevalier

-----

"As I give thought to the matter, I find four causes for the apparent misery of old age..."

"As I give thought to the matter, I find four causes for the apparent misery of old
age; first, it withdraws us from active accomplishments; second, it renders the body less powerful; third, it deprives us of almost all forms of enjoyment; fourth, it stands not far from death."

-Marcus Tullius Cicero

-----


 
The Refdesk Sites of the Day are:


National Geographic Adventure Magazine

Travel that will set your heart pounding, open your eyes, and force you to look again at what surrounds you. Because, in the end, a trip of a lifetime isn't about thread counts, umbrella cocktails, or bragging rights. It's about discovering that there's more to the world - and yourself - than you knew.

-----

Synoptic Map of Billion Dollar U.S. Weather Disasters 1980-2005

The National Climatic Data Center is the 'Nation’s Scorekeeper' in terms of addressing severe weather events in their historical perspective. As part of its responsibility of monitoring and assessing the climate, NCDC tracks and evaluates climate events in the U.S. and globally that have great economic and societal impacts. This web page/report describes those events that have had the greatest economic impact since 1980.

-----

MapMachine Student Edition

More than just maps, MapMachine Student Edition also has photos, facts, and fun. Here you can find the place you're looking for - or get lost in the cultures, sights, and sounds of the world. Site by National Geographic Society.

-----


America's Most Livable Communities

America's Best Places to Live, Work and Play! Each of this year's 30 Most Livable
Communities have developed innovative approaches to prepare for the New Economy through the creative strategies, actions, and visions of their leadership.

-----


 
US Citizenship


(From Hugh, our correspondent on the Lower East Side.)

Editor's Note: This letter has the sound and feel of an urban legend but it's fun.

Becoming Illegal (From a Maryland resident to his senator)

The Honorable Paul S. Sarbanes
Senate Office Building
309 Hart
Washington DC, 20510

Dear Senator Sarbanes,

As a native Marylander and excellent customer of the Internal

Revenue Service, I am writing to ask for your assistance. I have

contacted the Department of Homeland Security in an effort to

determine the process for becoming an illegal alien and they

referred me to you.

My primary reason for wishing to change my status from U.S. Citizen

to illegal alien stem from the bill which was recently passed by

the Senate and for which you voted. If my understanding of this

bill's provisions is accurate, as an illegal alien who has been in

the United States for five years, all I need to do to become a

citizen is to pay a $2,000 fine and income taxes for three of the

last five years. I know a good deal when I see one and I am anxious

to get the process started before everyone figures it out.

Simply put, those of us who have been here legally have had to pay

taxes every year so I'm excited about the prospect of avoiding two

years of taxes in return for paying a $2,000 fine. Is there any way

that I can apply to be illegal retroactively? This would yield an

excellent result for me and my family because we paid heavy taxes

in 2004 and 2005.

Additionally, as an illegal alien I could begin using the local

emergency room as my primary health care provider. Once I have

stopped paying premiums for medical insurance, my accountant

figures I could save almost $10,000 a year. Another benefit in

gaining illegal status would be that my daughter would receive

preferential treatment relative to her law school applications, as

well as "in-state" tuition rates for many colleges throughout the

United States for my son.

Lastly, I understand that illegal status would relieve me of the

burden of renewing my driver's license and making those burdensome

car insurance premiums. This is very important to me given that I

still have college age children driving my car.

If you would provide me with an outline of the process to become

illegal (retroactively if possible) and copies of the necessary

forms, I would be most appreciative. Thank you for your assistance.

Your Loyal Constituent,

Pete McGlaughlin

Get your Forms (NOW)!! Call your Internal Revenue Service

1-800-289-1040.

Please pass this onto your friends so they can save on this great

offer!!!!


.



Sunday, December 03, 2006

 


 
The Religion of Peace (or We Kill You)









 
Subject: A Math Problem -- From 1950 to 2006


(From Pamela, our correspondent in Bay Ridge.)



Why The Kids Can't Make Change at Home Depot


1. Teaching Math In 1950

A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5
of the price. What is his profit?


2. Teaching Math In 1960

A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5
of the price, or $80. What is his profit?


3. Teaching Math In 1970

A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is
$80. Did he make a profit?


4. Teaching Math In 1980

A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is $80
and his profit is $20. Your assignment: Underline the number 20.


5. Teaching Math In 1990

A logger cuts down a beautiful forest because he is selfish and
inconsiderate and cares nothing for the habitat of animals or the
preservation of our woodlands. He does this so he can make a profit of $20.
What do you think of this way of making a living?

Topic for class participation after answering the question: How did the
birds and squirrels feel as the logger cut down their homes? (There are no
wrong answers.)


6. Teaching Math In 2006


Un lenador que se dedica a oprimir a los pobres trabajadores y destruir el
medio ambiente destroza un bosque y los hogares de miles de ardillas y
pajaritos para vender la madera por $100. Dado que no le paga a los pobres
immigrantes que cortaron la madera, que tipo de justicia _social_ se merece?


~May the fleas of a thousand camels infest the crotch of the person
who screws up your day and may their arms be too short to scratch.


.


 
HEALTH QUESTION & ANSWER SESSION


(From Pamela, our correspondent in Bay Ridge.)


Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life; is this true?

A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... don't waste them on exercise . Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------



Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?

A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------




Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?

A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up!


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------



Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?

A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?

A: Can't think of a single ! one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain...Good!


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?

A: You're not listening....Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?

A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.




--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Q: Is chocolate bad for me?

A: Are you crazy? HELLO Cocoa beans! Another vegetable. It's the best feel-good food around!!


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------



Q: Is swimming good for your figure?

A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------



Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?

A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape! !


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------



Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.

And remember:

"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO HOO, What a Ride"

.


 
The Refdesk Sites of the Day are:


Guide Star

Interested in learning how to access, give to, or help out a charity or non-profit
organization? This site is a complete guide to helping you sort out, find, and learn
everything you need to know in order to best give back to your community and to make a difference in the world.

-----

Monterey Bay Aquarium

The mission of this award-winning web site is to inspire, enrich and extend a visit to the aquarium, while fostering a deeper commitment and connection to the institution and ocean conservation.

-----

FDA Centennial: 1906-2006

The U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA) will celebrate its 100th anniversary in 2006. In addition to a nation-wide program of commemorative events being held throughout the year, FDA has launched a special Web page at http://www.fda.gov/centennial. The January-February 2006 issue of FDA's bimonthly publication, FDA Consumer, traces the agency's history from the passage of pure food and drug laws at the turn of the last century to the challenges posed today by cutting-edge sciences such as genomic and proteomics, and new initiatives like 'personalized medicine'.

-----


 
Refdesk Thoughts of the Day:




"There is no calamity which a great nation can invite which equals that which follows a supine submission to wrong and injustice and the consequent loss of national self-respect and honor, beneath which are shielded and defended a people’s safety and greatness."

-Grover Cleveland

-----

"Citizenship is no light trifle to be jeopardized..."

"Citizenship is no light trifle to be jeopardized any moment Congress decides to do
so under the name of one of its general or implied grants of power."

-Hugo LaFayette Black

-----

"We now feel we can cure the patient..."

"We now feel we can cure the patient without his fully understanding what made him
sick. We are no longer so interested in peeling the onion as in changing it."

-Dr. Franz Alexander

-----

"The creative person is both more primitive and more cultivated..."

"The creative person is both more primitive and more cultivated, more destructive and more constructive, a lot madder and a lot saner, than the average person."

-Dr. Frank Barron

-----


 
*The Ten Commandments of Marriage *


(From Gene, our correspondent in Washington Heights.)


*Commandment 1. *

Marriages are made in heaven. But, so again, are thunder and lightning.

*Commandment 2. *

If you want your wife to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.

*Commandment 3 *.

Marriage is grand -- and divorce is at least 100 grand!

*Commandment 4. *

Married life is very frustrating. In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.

**Commandment 5. **

When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: Either the car is new or the wife is.

*Commandment 6 *.

Marriage is when a man and woman become as one. The trouble starts when they try to decide which one.

**Commandment 7. **

Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you say. After marriage, he will fall asleep before you finish.

*Commandment 8. *

Every man wants a wife who is beautiful, understanding, economical, and a good cook. But the law allows only one wife.

*Commandment 9. *

Marriage and love are purely a matter of chemistry. That is why a wife treats her husband like toxic waste.

*Commandment 10. *

A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished..


*Bonus Commandment story:

*A long married couple came upon a wishing well. The wife leaned over, made a wish and threw in a penny. The husband decided to make a wish too. But he leaned over too much, fell into the well, and drowned. The wife was stunned for a moment but then smiled, "It really works."

-----------------------------------------------------------------



Saturday, December 02, 2006

 
The Religion of Peace (or We Kill You)








 



 
Refdesk Thoughts of the Day:




"A hundred times every day I remind myself that my inner and outer life are based on
the labors of other men, living and dead, and that I must exert myself in order to give in the same measure as I have received and am still receiving."

-Albert Einstein

-----

"Give light and the people..."

"Give light and the people will find their own way."

-Scripps-Howard newspapers

-----

"There is a just God who presides over the destinies of nations..."

"There is a just God who presides over the destinies of nations, and who will raise
up friends to fight our battles for us. The battle, sir, is not to the strong alone; it is to the vigilant, the active, the brave…. It is vain, sir, to extenuate the matter. Gentlemen may cry, peace, peace - but there is no peace. The war is actually begun! The next gale that sweeps from the north will bring to our ears the clash of resounding arms! Our brethren are already in the field! Why stand we here idle? What is it that gentlemen wish? What would they have? Is life so dear, or peace so sweet, as to be purchased at the price of chains and slavery? Forbid it, Almighty God! - I know not what course others may take; but as for me, give me liberty, or give me death!"

-Patrick Henry

-----

"Never give in, never give in,..."

"Never give in, never give in, never, never, never, never - in nothing, great or
small, large or petty - never give in except to convictions of honour and good
sense."

-Sir Winston Churchill

-----

"Give us courage and gaiety and the quiet mind..."

"Give us courage and gaiety and the quiet mind. Spare to us our friends, soften to us our enemies. Bless us, if it may be, in all our innocent endeavors. If it may not, give us the strength to encounter that which is to come, that we be brave in peril, constant in tribulation, temperate in wrath, and in all changes of fortune and down to the gates of death, loyal and loving one to another."

-Robert Louis Stevenson

-----


 
The Refdesk Sites of the Day are:


Calendars from the Sky

Calendars are normally based on astronomical events, and the two most important
astronomical objects are the sun and the moon. Their cycles are very important in the construction and understanding of calendars. This site lets you explore the history of the human endeavor to organize our lives in accordance with the sun and stars.

-----

How NASCAR Race Cars Work

NASCAR race cars have very little in common with street cars. Almost every detail of a NASCAR car is handmade. The bodies are built from flat sheet metal, the engines are assembled from a bare block and the frame is constructed from steel tubing. In this HowStuffWorks article, you will learn how these race cars are made.

-----

Columbia Encyclopedia

Containing nearly 51,000 entries (marshalling six and one-half million words on a vast range of topics), and with more than 80,000 hypertext cross-references, the current Sixth Edition is among the most complete and up-to-date encyclopedias ever produced.

-----

Atlas of the Body

This site by the American Medical Association presents an atlas of the human body.

-----

How Stem Cells Work

Their almost limitless potential has made stem cells a significant focus of medical
research. Imagine having the ability to return memory to an Alzheimer's patient, replace skin that was lost during a terrible accident or enable a wheelchair-bound person to walk again. But before scientists can use stem cells for medical purposes, they must first learn how to harness their power. In this HowStuffWorks article looks at stem cells, find out how they work, discover their potential to treat disease and get inside the fierce debate surrounding their research and use.

-----

How to Deal with Medical Emergencies

Review this topic before you need it. Then, when you are faced with an emergency or
injury, you will know where to turn. Your confidence in dealing with both major and minor emergencies will be reassuring to an injured person. Site by WebMD. Note: This information is not intended to replace the advice of a doctor.

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Sunday, November 26, 2006

 


 
The Religion of Peace (or We Kill You)









 
The Refdesk Sites of the Day are:


SPAM

Do you receive lots of junk email messages from people you don't know? It's no surprise if you do. As more people use email, marketers are increasingly using email messages to pitch their products and services. Some consumers find unsolicited commercial email - also known as "spam" - annoying and time consuming; others have lost money to bogus offers that arrived in their email in-box. This website has information about the Federal Trade Commission's recent law enforcement actions against deceptive commercial email and spammers' responsibilities under the CAN-SPAM law.

-----

Genetics Home Reference

Genetics Home Reference is the National Library of Medicine's web site for consumer
information about genetic conditions and the genes or chromosomes responsible for those conditions.

-----


 
Refdesk Thoughts of the Day:




"The great German poet, Goethe, who also lived through a crisis of freedom, said to
his generation: 'What you have inherited from your fathers, earn over again for yourselves or it will not be yours.' We inherited freedom. We seem unaware that freedom has to be remade and re-earned in each generation of man."

-Adlai Ewing Stevenson

-----

"That which seems the height of absurdity..."

"That which seems the height of absurdity in one generation often becomes the height
of wisdom in the next."

-John Stuart Mill

-----

"Don’t try to go too fast. Learn your job..."

"Don’t try to go too fast. Learn your job. Don’t ever talk until you know what you’re talking about…. If you want to get along, go along."

-Sam Rayburn

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Monday, November 13, 2006

 


 
The Religion of Peace (or We Kill You)









 
Refdesk Thoughts of the Day:




"Give a man the secure possession of a bleak rock, and he will turn it into a garden; give him a nine years lease of a garden, and he will convert it into a desert…. The magic of PROPERTY turns sand to gold."

-Arthur Young

-----

"The nation is burdened with the heavy curse on those who come afterwards..."

"The nation is burdened with the heavy curse on those who come afterwards. The
generation before us was inspired by an activism and a naive enthusiasm, which we cannot rekindle, because we confront tasks of a different kind from those which our fathers faced."

-Max Weber

-----


 
The Refdesk Sites of the Day are:


ScienceWorld

Comprehensive online encyclopedias of astronomy, math, physics, scientific biographies, and scientific books, with many equations and formulas.

-----

The Harvard Classics and The Shelf of Fiction

The most comprehensive and well-researched anthology of all time comprises both the
50-volume “5-foot shelf of books” and the the 20-volume Shelf of Fiction. Together they cover every major literary figure, philosopher, religion, folklore and historical subject through the twentieth century.

-----

Forms.gov

The Forms Catalog provides citizens and businesses with a common access point to federal agency forms.

-----


 
Modern Day Manners


(From Bob, our correspondent in Bayside.)


During class, a teacher trying to teach good manners, asks the students:

"Michael, if you were on a date, having supper with a nice young
lady, how would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom?"

"Just a minute, I have to go pee."

"That would be rude and impolite! ! !"

"What about you Peter, how would you say it?"

"I am sorry , but I really need to go to the bathroom, I'll be
right back."

"That's better, but it's still not very nice to say the word
bathroom at the dinner table."

"And you Little Johnny, are you able to use your intelligence
for once and show us your good manners?"

"I would say: 'Darling, may I please be excused for a moment? I
have to shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, whom I hope
you'll get to meet after supper."

The teacher fainted.


.



Sunday, November 12, 2006

 


 
The Religion of Peace (or We Kill You)









 
Refdesk Thoughts of the Day:




“Facts which at first seem improbable will, even on scant explanation, drop the cloak which has hidden them and stand forth in naked and simple beauty."

-Galileo

-----

"We have not passed that subtle line between childhood and adulthood..."

"We have not passed that subtle line between childhood and adulthood until we move
from the passive voice to the active voice - that is, until we have stopped saying, 'It got lost,' and say, 'I lost it.' "

-Sydney J. Harris

-----

"Patience is bitter..."

"Patience is bitter, but its fruit is sweet."

-Aristotle

-----


 
The Refdesk Sites of the Day are:


Consumer Price Index

The Consumer Price Indexes program produces monthly data on changes in the prices paid by urban consumers for a representative basket of goods and services.

-----

Home Improvement Encyclopedia

Your step-by-step guide to home repair and maintenance. This site by Better Homes and Gardens presents topics from Deck Planning to Woodworking and Finishes.

-----

Yahoo! Elected Officials

Find elected officials, including the president, members of Congress, governors, state legislators, local officials, and more.

-----

Centers for Disease Control and Prevention

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention is one of the 13 major operating components of the Department of Health and Human Services, which is the principal agency in the United States government for protecting the health and safety of all Americans and for providing essential human services, especially for those people who are least able to help themselves.

-----

Magnetic Storms

Is the magnetic field protecting Earth from deadly radiation about to reverse direction or even disappear? This PBS site explores all aspects of Magnetic Storms.

-----



Saturday, November 11, 2006
 
Why Veterans' Day is Important


Oath of Enlistment/Commision for the military.

It is as follows:

The wordings of the current oath of enlistment and oath for commissioned officers are as follows:

Enlisted Oath

"I, _____, do solemnly swear (or affirm) that I will support and defend the
Constitution of the United States against all enemies, foreign and domestic; that I will bear true faith and allegiance to the same; and that I will obey the orders of the President of the United States and the orders of the officers appointed over me, according to regulations and the Uniform Code of Military Justice. So help me God."

(Title 10, US Code; Act of 5 May 1960 replacing the wording first adopted in 1789, with amendment effective 5 October 1962).

Officer's Oath of Commission

"I, _____ (SSAN), having been appointed an officer in the Army of the United States,
as indicated above in the grade of _____ do solemnly swear (or affirm) that I will support and defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies, foreign or domestic, that I will bear true faith and allegiance to the same; that I take this obligation freely, without any mental reservations or purpose of evasion; and that I will well and faithfully discharge the duties of the office upon which I am about to enter; So help me God."

(DA Form 71, 1 August 1959, for officers.)

What is unique about these two oaths?

There is no mention of defending a government, country, President, Congress, or any other temporal entity. In other words, there is no oath to defend "King, God and
country".

The military of the United States of America are sworn to protect and defend the Constitution.

On this day, thank a veteran.

.


Friday, November 10, 2006

 
The Religion of Peace (or We Kill You)








 



 
Job Description

(From Gene, our correpsondent in Washington Heights.)


One day a fourth-grade teacher asked the children what their fathers
did for a living. All the typical answers came up--fireman, mechanic,
businessman, salesman, doctor, lawyer, CPA, architect, engineer,
political consultant, and so forth.

But little Justin was being uncharacteristically quiet, so when the
teacher prodded him about his father, he replied, "My father's an
exotic dancer in a gay cabaret and takes off all his clothes in front
of other men and they put money in his underwear. Sometimes, if the
offer is really good, he will go home with some guy and make love with
him for money."

The teacher, obviously shaken by this statement, hurriedly set the
other children to work on some exercises and then took little Justin
aside to ask him, "Is that really true about your father?"

"No," the boy said, "He works for the Democratic National Committee and
is helping to secure the nomination of Hillary Clinton, but I was too
embarrassed to say that in front of the other kids.


.


 
Refdesk Thoughts of the Day:




"A purpose of human life, no matter who is controlling it, is to love whoever is
around to be loved."

-Kurt Vonnegut, Jr.

-----

"To sit in the shade on a fine day..."

"To sit in the shade on a fine day, and look upon verdure is the most perfect
refreshment."

-Jane Austen

-----

"In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is..."

"In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing. The worst
thing you can do is nothing."

-Theodore Roosevelt

-----

"What is man..."

"What is man but his passion?"

-Robert Penn Warren

-----

"If you would be loved..."

"If you would be loved, love and be lovable."

-Benjamin Franklin

-----


 
The Refdesk Sites of the Day are:


Is Race for Real?

We all know that people look different. Anyone can tell a Czech from a Chinese. But are these differences racial? What does race mean? Find the answers to these and other questions by exploring different interactivities within this PBS site.

-----

Ask Jeeves Kids

Ask Jeeves for Kids is a fast, easy and kid-friendly way for kids to find answers to their questions online. Designed to be a fun destination site focused on learning and "edutainment". Ask Jeeves for Kids uses natural-language technology that allows kids to ask questions, such as 'Why is the sky blue?' or 'What's it like to live in space?' in the same way they would ask a parent, friend or teacher. The service combines human editorial judgment with filtering technology to enable kids to find both relevant and appropriate answers on the Web.

-----

The Holy Bible

The culmination of English translations of the Bible, the Bartleby.com publication of the American Bible Society’s King James Version features full-text searchability,
content-based tables of contents and a quick verse finder.

-----

American's Job Bank

America's Job Bank is the biggest and busiest job market in cyberspace. Job seekers can post their resume where thousands of employers search every day, search for job openings automatically, and find their dream job fast. Businesses can post job listings in the nation's largest online labor exchange, create customized job orders, and search resumes automatically to find the right people, right now.

-----



Saturday, November 04, 2006

 
How many House of Representative seats will the Democrats win on November 7th?
One
Two
Four
Eight
Sixteen
Zero
Create Free Polls


 
The Religion of Peace (or We Kill You)








 




 
Refdesk Thoughts of the Day:




"Without feelings of respect, what is there to distinguish men from beasts?"

-Confucius

-----

"The difference between the almost right word and the right word..."

"The difference between the almost right word and the right word is really a large
matter - ’tis the difference between the lightning-bug and the lightning."

-Mark Twain

-----

"Ideals are like stars; you will not succeed in touching them..."

"Ideals are like stars; you will not succeed in touching them with your hands. But
like the seafaring man on the desert of waters, you choose them as your guides, and
following them you will reach your destiny."

-Carl Schurz

-----


 
Exchange between Two Superpowers


(From Gene, our correspondent in Washington Heights.)


"It is said that, just before the Sino-Soviet split, Nikita Krushchev had a tense meeting with Zhou Enlai at which he told the latter that he now understood the problem. 'I am the son of coal miners,' he said. 'You are the descendant of feudal mandarins. We have nothing in common.' 'Perhaps we do,' murmured his Chinese antagonist. 'What?' blustered Krushchev. 'We are,' responded Zhou, 'both traitors to our class.'"

---Christopher Hitchens reviewing Peter Y. Sussman's Decca: The Letters of Jessica Mitford in The Atlantic Monthly.


.


 
Proof of Ownership


(From Gene, our correspondent in Washington Heights.)


For our international colleagues, the FHA is the US Federal Housing Authority.

Proof of Ownership

You gotta love this lawyer - It's too good not to share! Everyone who has ever bought a house will enjoy this.

A New Orleans lawyer sought an FHA loan for a client He was told the loan would be granted if he could prove satisfactory title to the parcel of property being offered as collateral. The title to the property dated back to 1803, which took the Lawyer three months to track down. After sending the information to the FHA, he received the following reply.

(Actual letter):

"Upon review of your letter adjoining your client's loan application, we note that the request is supported by an Abstract of Title. While we compliment the able manner in which you have prepared and presented the application, we must point out that you have only cleared title to the proposed collateral property back to 1803. Before final approval can be accorded, it will be necessary to clear the title back to its origin."

Annoyed, the lawyer responded as follows (actual letter):

"Your letter regarding title in Case No. 189156 has been received. I note that you wish to have title extended further than the 194 years covered by the present application. I was unaware that any educated person in this country, particularly those working in the property area, would not know that Louisiana was purchased, by the U.S., from France in 1803, the year of origin identified in our application.

'For the edification of uninformed FHA bureaucrats, the title to the land prior to U.S. ownership was obtained from France, which had acquired it by Right of Conquest from Spain. The land came into the possession of Spain by Right of Discovery made in the year 1492 by a sea captain named Christopher Columbus, who had been granted the privilege of seeking a new route to India by the Spanish monarch, Isabella. The good queen, Isabella, being a pious woman and almost as careful about titles as the FHA, took the precaution of securing the blessing of the Pope before she sold her jewels to finance Columbus' expedition.

'Now, the Pope, as I'm sure you may know, is the emissary of Jesus Christ, the Son of God. God, it is commonly accepted, created this world. Therefore, I believe it is safe to presume that God also made that part of the world called Louisiana.

"God, therefore, would be the owner of origin and His origins date back, to before the beginning of time, the world as we know it AND the FHA. I hope you find God's original claim to be satisfactory.

"Now, may we have our dxxx loan?" [He got the loan.]


.


 
Remember This When You Vote


(From Gene, our correspondent in Washington Heights.)


38 SENATORS VOTED AGAINST MAKING ENGLISH THE OFFICIAL LANGUAGE OF AMERICA.

HERE THEY ARE.


Akaka (D-HI)
Bayh (D-IN)
Biden (D-DE)
Bingaman (D-NM)
Boxer (D-CA)
Cantwell (D-WA)
Clinton (D-NY)
Dayton (D-MN)
Dodd (D-CT)
Domenici (-NM)
Durbin (D-IL)
Feingold (D -WI)
Feinstein (D-CA)
Harkin (D-IA)
Inouye (D-HI)
Jeffords (I-VT)
Kennedy (D-MA)
Kerry (D-MA)
Kohl (D-WI)
Lautenberg (D-NJ)
Leahy (D-VT)
Levin (D-MI)
Lieberman (D-CT)
Menendez (D-NJ)
Mikulski (D-MD)
Murray (D-WA)
Obama (D-IL)
Reed (D-RI)
Reid (D-NV)
Salazar (D-CO)
Sarbanes (D-MD)
Schumer (D-NY)
Stabenow (D-MI)
Wyden (D-OR)

REMEMBER THIS THE DAY YOU VOTE.

PLEASE PASS THIS ALONG.


.


 
The Refdesk Sites of the Day are:


POTUS: Presidents of the United States

In this resource you will find background information, election results, cabinet members, notable events, and some points of interest on each of the presidents. Links to biographies, historical documents, audio and video files, and other presidential sites are also included.

-----

Natiional Atlas of the United States

You've seen other atlases. They're typically big books of paper maps. The pages in this atlas are here on the Internet whenever you need them. This is a new portrayal of America in maps. We use new technologies, but we honor traditions of accuracy, reliability, and innovation. You've found the single best Federal source for national maps and geographic information on the Web. The people and places of the United States are here.

-----

Encyclopedia Smithsonian

Encyclopedia Smithsonian helps answer frequently asked questions about the Smithsonian with links to resources on subjects from Art to Zoology.

-----

U.S. Population Finder

The Population Finder displays population numbers from the 1990 Census, Census 2000, and the latest Population Estimates data, and selected links to tables and maps showing population data. Use the simple geographic search form at the top of the page to change your geographic selection to a particular state, county, city, town, 5-digit ZIP code, or census tract. Census tracts are only returned when using search by address.

-----



Sunday, October 29, 2006

 
The Religion of Peace (or We Kill You)








 




 
Texas Chili Contest


(From Greta, our correspondent in Astoria.)


Warning: If you can read this whole story without laughing out
loud, then there's no hope for you. I was crying by the end.

Note: Please take time to read this. If you pay attention to the
first two judges, the reaction of the third judge is even better.

For those of you who have lived in Texas, you know how true this is.
They actually have a chili cook-off about the time Halloween comes
around. It takes up a major portion of a parking lot at the San Antonio
city park. The notes are from an inexperienced chili taster named
Frank, who was visiting from Springfield, IL.

Frank: "Recently, I was honored to be selected as a judge at a
chili cook-off. The original person called in sick at the last moment
and I happened to be standing there at the judge's table asking for
directions to the Coors Light truck, when the call came in. I was
assured by the other two judges (native Texans) that the chili wouldn't be all that
spicy and, besides they told me I could have free beer during the
tasting, so I accepted."

Here are the scorecards from the event:(Frank is Judge #3)

Chili # 1 Eddie's Maniac Monster Chili...

Judge # 1 -- A little too heavy on the tomato. Amusing kick.

Judge # 2 -- Nice, smooth tomato flavor. Very mild.

Judge # 3 -- (Frank) What the hell is this stuff?! You could
remove dried paint from your driveway.Took me two beers to put out the
flames. I hope that's the worst one. These Texans are crazy!

Chili # 2 Austin's Afterburner Chili...

Judge # 1 -- Smoky, with a hint of pork. Slight jalapeno tang.

Judge # 2 -- Exciting BBQ flavor; needs more peppers to be taken seriously.

Judge # 3 -- Keep this out of the reach of children. I'm not sure
what I'm supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two people
who wanted to give me the Heimlich maneuver. They had to rush in more
beer when they saw the look on my face.

Chili # 3 Ronny's Famous Burn Down the Barn Chili....

Judge # 1 -- Excellent firehouse chili. Great kick. Needs more beans.

Judge # 2 -- A beanless chili, a bit salty, good use of peppers.

Judge # 3 -- Call the EPA. I've located a uranium spill. My nose
feels like I have been snorting Drano. Everyone knows the routine by
now. Get me more beer before I ignite. Barmaid pounded me on the back,
now my backbone is in the front part of my chest. I'm getting pie-eyed
from all of the beer...

Chili # 4 Dave's Black Magic...

Judge # 1 -- Black bean chili with almost no spice. Disappointing.

Judge # 2 -- Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for
fish, or other mild foods; not much of a chili.

Judge # 3 -- I felt something scraping across my tongue, but was unable to taste it. Is it possible to burn out taste buds? Sally, the barmaid, was standing behind me with fresh refills. That 300-lb. woman is starting to look HOT...just like this nuclear waste I'm eating! Is chili an aphrodisiac?

Chili # 5 Lisa's Legal Lip Remover...

Judge # 1 -- Meaty, strong chili. Cayenne peppers freshly ground, adding considerable kick. Very impressive.

Judge # 2 -- Chili using shredded beef, could use more tomato. Must admit the cayenne peppers make a strong statement.

Judge # 3 -- My ears are ringing, sweat is pouring off my forehead, and I can no longer focus my eyes. I farted and four people behind me needed paramedics. The contestant seemed offended when I told her that her chili had given me brain damage. Sally saved my tongue from bleeding by pouring beer directly on it from the pitcher. I wonder if I'm burning my lips off. It really pisses me off that the other
judges asked me to stop screaming. Screw those rednecks.

Chili # 6 Pam's Very Vegetarian Variety...

Judge # 1 -- Thin, yet bold vegetarian variety chili. Good balance of spices and peppers.

Judge # 2 -- The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions, and
garlic. Superb.

Judge # 3 -- My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with
gaseous, sulphuric flames. I pooped on myself when I farted and I'm
worried it will eat through the chair! No one seems inclined to stand
behind me except that Sally. Can't feel my lips anymore. I need to wipe
my butt with a snow cone.

Chili # 7 Carla's Screaming Sensation Chili...

Judge # 1 -- A mediocre chili with too much reliance on canned peppers.

Judge # 2 -- Ho-hum; tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can of chili peppers at the last moment.

**I should take note that I am worried about Judge # 3. He appears to be in a bit of distress, as he is cursing uncontrollably.

Judge # 3 -- You could put a grenade in my mouth, pull the
pin,and I wouldn't feel a thing. I've lost sight in one eye, and the
world sounds like it is made of rushing water. My shirt is covered with
chili, which slid unnoticed out of my mouth. My pants are full of lava
to match my shirt. At least during the autopsy, they'll know what
killed me. I've decided to stop breathing; it's too painful. Screw it; I'm not getting any oxygen anyway. If I need air, I'll just suck it in through the
4-inch hole in my stomach.

Chili # 8 Karen's Toenail Curling Chili...

Judge # 1 -- The perfect ending, this is a nice blend chili. Not too bold, but spicy enough to declare its existence.

Judge # 2 -- This final entry is a good, balanced chili. Neither
mild, nor hot. Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge # 3
farted, passed out fell over, and pulled the chili pot down on top of
himself. Not sure if he's going to make it. Poor fella, wonder how he'd
have reacted...


.


 
The Refdesk Sites of the Day are:


Financial Calculators

Should I refinance my mortgage? How much do I need to save for my child's college education? As accounting professionals, these are some of the questions that are posed to us on a daily basis. We are providing these interactive financial calculators and other tools to assist you with some of the day-to-day questions and concerns that may arise.

While these financial tools by Padgett Business Services are not a substitute for
financial advice from a qualified professional, they can be used as a starting point in your decision making process.

-----

Yahoo! Finance

Yahoo!'s financial site provides financial information. Get stock quotes, market news, mortgage rates, currency information, and more.

Related sites:

The Motley Fool

MSN Money

SmartMoney.com.

-----

Dictionary.com

Dictionary.com is a multi-source dictionary search service produced by Lexico Publishing Group, a leading provider of language reference products and services on the Internet. To use the dictionary, simply type a word in the blue search box that appears at the top of every page and then click the 'Look it up' button. This will perform a search for the word in the several dictionaries hosted on our site (see below). If you don't know how to spell the word, just guess. You will get a list of suggestions if you are wrong.

-----

AllThingsPolitical.com

Welcome to AllThingsPolitical.com.

Our aim is to offer a more efficient gateway to leading political and governmental online resources. Our directories encompass many categories, ranging from the practical - with over 6,700 public school websites, 5,600 municipal government websites, and 2,100 county government websites - to the partisan - with over 1,100 Democratic and Republican county party sites.

-----

National Cancer Institute

The National Cancer Institute coordinates the National Cancer Program, which conducts and supports research, training, health information dissemination, and other programs with respect to the cause, diagnosis, prevention, and treatment of cancer, rehabilitation from cancer, and the continuing care of cancer patients and the families of cancer patients.

-----


 
Refdesk Thoughts of the Day:




"There is, I think, nothing in the world more futile than the attempt to find out how a task should be done when one has not yet decided what the task is."

-Alexander Meiklejohn

-----

"There is nothing so good for the human soul as the discovery..."

"There is nothing so good for the human soul as the discovery that there are ancient
and flourishing civilized societies which have somehow managed to exist for many centuries and are still in being though they have had no help from the traveler in solving their problems."

-Walter Lippmann

-----

"Jesus wept; Voltaire smiled..."

"Jesus wept; Voltaire smiled. From that divine tear and from that human smile is
derived the grace of present civilization."

-Victor Hugo

-----

"Man is by nature..."

"Man is by nature a political animal."

-Aristotle

-----

"Nothing is worse..."

"Nothing is worse than active ignorance."

-Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

-----

"Maybe the only thing worse than having to give gratitude constantly ...

"Maybe the only thing worse than having to give gratitude constantly ... is having to accept it."

-William Faulkner

-----



Saturday, October 28, 2006

 
The Religion of Peace (or We Kill You)








 




 
Refdesk Thought of the Day:




"WAR IS PEACE; FREEDOM IS SLAVERY; IGNORANCE IS STRENGTH."

-George Orwell

-----

"There is, therefore, only one categorical imperative..."

"There is, therefore, only one categorical imperative. It is: Act only according to
that maxim by which you can at the same time will that it should become a universal
law."

-Immanuel Kant

-----

"It costs so much to be a full human being..."

"It costs so much to be a full human being that there are very few who have the
enlightenment, or the courage, to pay the price…"

-Morris West

-----

"I am an idealist..."

"I am an idealist. I don't know where I am going, but I am on my way."

-Carl Sandburg

-----

"Language is a city to the building..."

"Language is a city to the building of which every human being brought a
stone."

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

-----


 
The Refdesk Sites of the Day are:


LibrarySpot

Featuring a wide collection of resources available online as well as a directory of
public, academic, and special libraries worldwide.

-----

KidsHealth.org

KidsHealth is the largest and most visited site on the Web providing doctor-approved
health information about children from before birth through adolescence. Created by The Nemours Foundation's Center for Children's Health Media, the award-winning KidsHealth provides families with accurate, up-to-date, and jargon-free health information they can use.

-----

Internet Archive

The Internet Archive is building a digital library of Internet sites and other cultural artifacts in digital form. Like a paper library, we provide free access to researchers, historians, scholars, and the general public.

-----

Project Gutenberg

Project Gutenberg is a repository of more than 17,000 electronic books that can be
downloaded for free. Most of these public-domain texts date from before 1923; they include titles by Shakespeare, da Vinci, Dante, Poe, Nietzsche, Edgar Rice Burroughs, Lewis Carroll, and H.G. Wells, as well as many other authors.

-----

WebMD

WebMD's services enable consumers to obtain detailed information on a particular disease or condition, analyze symptoms, locate physicians, store individual healthcare information, receive periodic e-newsletters on topics of individual interest, enroll in interactive courses and participate in online communities with peers.

-----