The Pamphleteer

During colonial times in America, if you wanted to convince or inform people about some issue that you considered important, you went to the local printer and got some pamphlets printed. You then handed them out, read them to anybody that was interested, nailed them to the town bulletin board, or the nearest tree. The first amendment was specifically written to protect this type of activity and the writers or "pamphleteers".

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Saturday, December 31, 2005


(Thanks to Bob Krum.)

Enough screwing around, let's bring the impeachment motion to a vote. For the reasons behind this, see here...



(Thanks to Tom Maquire.)

Here's where my money is going this year:

Libby Legal Defense Trust
2100 M Street, N.W.
Suite 170-362
Washington, D.C. 20037-1233

Give until it hurts!


The Religion of Peace (or We Kill You)



A Political Look at Hollywood

By James Hirsen

A NewsMax Report

Headlines (Click here for complete stories):

1. Steven Spielberg Hires Ariel Sharon Aide to Sell 'Munich'
2. Klum-less in Iran
3. 'Super Size Me' Director to Attack GOP
4. Bob Dylan's Satellite Stretch
5. Auctioning Off John McCain


The Refdesk Site of the Day is:

Today's Front Pages

This site is an online presentation of one of the Newseum's most popular
exhibits. Every morning, more than 300 newspapers from around the world submit
their front pages to the Newseum via the Internet.


Who Wants to be a Millionaire

(From Greta, our correspondent in Astoria.)

A contestant on "Who Wants to be a Millionaire" had reached the
final plateau. If she answered the next question correctly, she would win
$1,000,000. If she answered incorrectly, she would pocket only the $32,000
milestone money.

As she suspected it would be, the million-dollar question was no

It was:

Which of the following species of birds does not build its own nest,
but instead lays its eggs in the nests of other birds?

Is it:

A) the condor;
B) the buzzard;
C) the cuckoo; or
D) the vulture?

The woman was on the spot. She did not know the answer. And she was
doubly on the spot because she had used up her 50/50 Lifeline and her
Audience Poll Lifeline. All that remained was her Phone-a-Friend Lifeline,
and the woman had hoped against hope that she would not have to use it because the only friend that she knew would be home happened to be a blonde. But the contestant had no alternative. She called her friend and gave her the question and the four choices.

The blonde responded unhesitatingly: "That's easy. The answer is C:
The cuckoo."

The contestant had to make a decision and make it fast. She considered
employing a reverse strategy and giving Regis any answer except the one that her friend had given her. And considering that her friend was a blonde, it would seem to be the logical thing to do. On the other hand -- the blonde had responded with such confidence, such certitude, that the contestant could not help but be persuaded.

"I need an answer," said Regis.

Crossing her fingers, the contestant said, "C: The cuckoo."

"Is that your final answer?" asked Regis.

"Yes, that is my final answer."

Two seconds later, Regis said, "I regret to inform you that the answer
is ............ absolutely correct. You are now a millionaire!"

Three days later, the contestant hosted a party for her family and
friends including the blonde who had helped her win the million dollars.

"Jenny, I just do not know how to thank you," said the contestant.
"Because of your knowing the answer to that final question, I am now a
millionaire. And do you want to know something? It was your assuredness with which you answered the question that convinced me to go with your choice. By the did you happen to know the right answer?"

"Oh, come on!" said the blonde. "Everybody knows that cuckoos
don't build nests. They live in clocks."


THANK YOU...............

(From Greta, our correspondent in Astoria.)

I want to thank all of you who have taken the time and trouble to
send me your damn chain letters over the past few years. Yes, thank you,
thank you, thank you from the bottom of what's left of my heart for making
me feel safe, secure, blessed, and wealthy.

Because of your concern...I no longer can drink Coca Cola because
it can remove toilet stains.

I no longer drink Pepsi or DR Pepper since the people who make
these products are atheists who refuse to put "Under God" on their

I no longer drink anything out of a can because I will get sick
from the rat feces and urine.

I no longer use Saran wrap in the microwave because it causes

I no longer check the coin return on pay phones because I could be
pricked with a needle infected with AIDS.

I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like
a water buffalo on a hot day.

I no longer use margarine because it's one molecule away from being

I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with
a perfume sample and rob me.

I no longer receive packages from UPS or FedEx since they are
actually Al Qaeda in disguise.

I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a
stupid number for which I will get the phone bill from hell with calls to
Jamaica, Uganda, Singapore, and Uzbekistan.

I no longer eat KFC because their chickens are actually horrible
mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers.

I no longer date the opposite sex because they will take my kidneys
and leave me taking a nap in a bathtub full of ice.

I no longer buy expensive cookies from Neiman Marcus since I now
have their recipe.

I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels
looking out for me and St. Theresa's novena has granted my every wish.

Thanks to you, I have learned that God only answers my prayers if I
forward an email to seven of my friends and make a wish within five
minutes. (Geez, the BIBLE did not mention it works that way!)

I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl who
is about to die in the hospital (for the 1,387,258th time).

I no longer have any money at all, but that will change once I
receive the $15,000 that Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating
in their special e-mail program.

Yes, I want to thank all of you soooooooo much for looking out for me!

I will now return the favor.

If you don't send this email to at least 1200 people in the next 60
seconds, a large bird with diarrhea will crap on your head at 5:00
PM this afternoon and the fleas of a thousand camels will infest your
armpits. I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of a
friend of a friend of a friend of a friend of a friend of a friend of my
next door neighbor's ex-mother-in-law's 8th husband's 2nd cousin's 3rd
husband's ex-wife's mother's beautician!


Sunday, December 25, 2005

Merry Christmas! Some scenes from New York City to get everyone in the mood.

(Courtesy of Ron, my former boss. Good Luck and Godspeed in his retirement. Yes, the pictures are repeats from the past, but they capture the spirit and feeling like no others.)

The Christmas Tree at Rockefeller Center

The Christmas Tree at the New York Stock Exchange

The New York Stock Exchange

The Bull Is Charging Back! Will The Dow End Over 11,000 for 2005?

The Brooklyn Bridge

Saturday, December 24, 2005

The Religion of Peace (or We Kill You)


A Christmas Card To Our Troops

(Thanks to Ed, at Captain's Quarters.)

To participate in a heartwarming project, go here...



A Political Look at Hollywood

By James Hirsen

A NewsMax Report

Headlines (Click here for complete stories):

1. The Cindy Sheehan Play
2. Weinsteinland?
3. Merry Paris Hilton Christmas
4. Academy Awards to Be Chris Rock-less
5. David Geffen Deals Again


New Jersey Slogan Search Bars Sarcasm

(From Dan, our correspondent in the Commonwealth of Taxachusetts.)

PHILADELPHIA, Pennsylvania (Reuters) -- New Jersey, trying to overcome its reputation for corruption, traffic and toxic waste dumps, has rejected dozens of sardonic and sarcastic entries in a contest for a new tourist slogan. (Sorry, no link.)

A list of five possible slogans released Wednesday leaves out:

1) "New Jersey: We can always use another relative on the payroll," and

2) "Come to New Jersey: It's not as bad as it smells."

Other previous winners included:

1) New Jersey: You can't smell it in California

2) New Jersey: Someone's Gotta Live There!!

3) New Jersey: Where you get in for free, but pay a toll to get out.

4) New Jersey: Worth the Toll to Leave

5) New Jersey: Where Trash Gets Picked up, but the women don't.



(From Marian, our correspondent in Narrowsburg.)

Try this recipe and let me know how your cookies turn out.

Here's a great Christmas Cookie recipe that I thought you might want
to try this year:

1 cup of water
1 tsp. baking soda
1 cup of sugar
1 tsp. salt
1 cup of brown sugar
1 T lemon juice
4 large eggs
1 cup nuts
2 cups of dried fruit
1 bottle Jose Cuervo Tequilla

Sample the Cuervo to check quality.
Take a large bowl, check the Cuervo
again, to be sure it is of the highest
quality, pour one level cup and drink.

Turn on the electric mixer...Beat one
cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl.

Add one teaspoon of sugar...Beat again.
At this point it's best to make sure the
Cuervo is still OK, try another cup ...
just in case.

Turn off the mixerer thingy. Break 2
eggs and add to the bowl and chuck in
the cup of dried fruit, Pick the
frigging fruit off floor...
Mix on the turner. If the fried druit gets stuck
in the beaterers just pry it loose with
a drewscriver. Sample the Cuervo to
check for tonsisticity.

Next, sift two cups of salt, or something.. Check
the Jose Cuervo. Now shift the lemon
juice and strain your nuts. Add one
table. Add a spoon of sugar, or
somefink. Whatever you can find. Greash
the oven.

Turn the cake tin 360 degrees
and try not to fall over. Don't forget
to beat off the turner. Finally, throw
the bowl through the window, finish the
Cose Juervo and make sure to put the stove in the



The Refdesk Sites of the Day are:

How Christmas Works

For hundreds of millions of people around the world, Christmas
is the biggest holiday of the year. Have you ever wondered where
traditions like Santa Claus come from? Find out at this How Stuff Works site.

Related sites:

How Christmas Lights Works

How Mistletoe Works.


Night Prayers

(From Greta, our correspondent in Astoria.)

Female Prayer:

Before I lay me down to sleep,
I pray for a man, who's not a creep,
One who's handsome, smart and strong
One who loves to listen long,
One who thinks before he speaks,
One who'll call, not wait for weeks.
I pray he's gainfully employed,
When I spend his cash, won't be annoyed.
Pulls out my chair and opens my door,
Massages my back and begs to do more.
Oh! Send me a man who'll make love to my mind,
Knows what to answer to "how big is my behind?"
I pray that this man will love me to no end,
And always be my very best friend.


Male Prayer:

I pray for a deaf-mute nymphomaniac with huge boobs
who owns a 72” plasma TV, liquor store and a bass boat.

This doesn't rhyme and I don't give a shit.



Sunday, December 18, 2005

Thank A Soldier Week

December 19 - Christmas

For more information, see here...


Holiday Party

(From Pamela, our correspondent in Bay Ridge.)

To: undisclosed-recipients:
Sent: Friday, December 02, 2005 8:00 AM
Subject: Holiday party

December 1st


I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take place on December 23rd at Luigi's Open Pit Barbecue. There will be lots of spiked eggnog and a small band playing traditional carols ...

Feel free to sing along. And don't be surprised if our CEO shows up dressed as Santa Claus to light the Christmas tree!

Exchange of gifts among employees can be done at that time; however, no gift should be over $10.

Merry Christmas to you and your family.

Patty Lewis

Human Resources Director


December 2nd


In no way was yesterday's memo intended to exclude our Jewish employees.
We recognize that Hanukkah is an important holiday that often coincides
with Christmas (though unfortunately not this year).

However, from now on we're calling it our "Holiday Party."? The same
policy applies to employees who are celebrating Kwanzaa at this time.

There will be no Christmas tree and no Christmas carols sung.

Happy Holidays to you and your family.

Patty Lewis

Human Resources Director


December 3rd


Regarding the anonymous note I received from a member of Alcoholics
Anonymous requesting a non-drinking table, I'm happy to accommodate this
request, but, don't forget, if I put a sign on the able that reads, "AA
Only," you won't be anonymous anymore. In addition, forget about the gifts
exchange-- no gifts will be allowed since? The union members feel that $10
is too much money.

Patty Lewis

Human Researchers Director


December 7th


I've arranged for members of Overeaters Anonymous to sit farthest from the
dessert buffet and pregnant women closest to the restrooms. Gays are
allowed to sit with each other. Lesbians do not have to sit with the gay
men; each will have their own table.

Yes, there will be a flower arrangement for the gay men's table.

Happy now?

Patty Lewis

Human Racehorses Director


December 9th


People, people -- nothing sinister was intended by wanting our CEO to play
Santa Claus! Even if the anagram of "Santa" does happen to be "Satan,"
there is no evil connotation to our own "little man in a red suit."

Patty Lewis

Human Ratraces


December 10th


Vegetarians -- I've had it with you people!! We're going to hold this
party at Luigi's Open Pit whether you like it or not, you can just sit at
the table farthest from the "grill of death," as you put it, and you'll
get salad bar only, including hydroponic tomatoes.?

But, you know, tomatoes have feelings, too.? They scream when you
slice them. I've heard them scream.? I'm hearing them right now... Ha!

I hope you all have a rotten holiday! Drive drunk and die, you hear me?

The Bitch from Hell


December 14th


I'm sure I speak for all of us in wishing Patty Lewis a speedy recovery
from her stress-related illness.? I'll continue to forward your cards to
her at the sanitarium. In the meantime, management has decided to cancel
our Holiday Party and give everyone the afternoon of the 23rd off with
full pay.

Terri Bishop

Acting Human Resources Director


The Refdesk Sites of the Day are:

Nixon White House Tapes

The Nixon White House Tapes consist of approximately 3700 hours of recordings
containing approximately 2800 hours of recorded conversations between President
Nixon, his staff, and visitors at locations in the Oval Office; the President's
Executive Office Building hideaway office; the Cabinet Room; various White House
telephones at the Oval Office, EEOB and the Lincoln Sitting Room; and at various
Camp David locations. These recordings were produced surreptiously, without the
knowledge of most of the participants.
The existence of the White House taping system was first made public during the
testimony of former presidential aide Alexander Butterfield before the Senate
Watergate committee in July 1973. Recording stopped soon afterward, but the
equipment was not removed until after President Nixon left office in August


FindLaw is the nation's leading provider of online legal information and
solutions for the legal community, businesses and individuals. According to
comScore Media Metrix, a leading independent Web usage reporting service, the Internet portal is the highest-trafficked legal Web site with 3.7
million unique monthly users. This site provides comprehensive set of legal
resources on the Internet for legal professionals, businesses, students and


Sunday, December 11, 2005


Both AJ and Mac have a story about Joshua Woods who was killed when plane ran off the runway and plowed into his family car.

A fund has been set up for the family here:

Donors should write a check to "Joshua Woods benefit" and mail it to

Centier Bank
1276 N. Main St.
Crown Point, IN 46307.
Call the bank at (219) 663-7804 for more information.

Send a donation then hug your loved ones.


Republicans v Democrats

(From Dan, our correspondent in the Commonwealth of Taxachusetts.)

Are you a Democrat or aRepublican?

With elections coming up in 2006, we should all decide.


How do you tell the difference between Democrats and Republicans?

Now look closely.

Answer. Pose the following question:

You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small
children. Suddenly, a dangerous looking man with a huge knife comes
around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, raises
the knife, and charges. You are carrying a Glock .40, and you are an
expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your
family. What do you do?


Democrat's Answer:

Well, that's not enough information to answer the question!

Does the man look poor or oppressed?

Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?

Could we run away?

What does my wife think?

What about the kids?

Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of
his hand?

What does the law say about this situation?

Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into it?

Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does
this send to society and to my children?

Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me? Does he definitely
want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?

If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away
while he was stabbing me?

Should I call 9-1-1?

Why is this street so deserted? We need to raise taxes, have a paint
and weed day and make this a happier, healthier street that would
discourage such behavior.

This is all so confusing!

I need to debate this with some friends for a few days and try to come
to a consensus.


Republican's Answer:



The Refdesk Site of the Day is:

Is Wal-Mart Good for America?

The companion site for the Public Broadcasting Service Frontline program
examines the growing controversy over the Wal-Mart way of doing business and
asks whether a single retail giant has changed the American economy.



(From Greta, our correspondent in Astoria.)

WIFE: "What would you do if I died? Would you get married again?"

HUSBAND: "Definitely not!"
WIFE: "Why not- don't you like being married?"
HUSBAND: "Of course I do."
WIFE: "Then why wouldn't you remarry?"
HUSBAND: "Okay, I'd get married again."
WIFE: "You would?" (With a hurtful look on her face)
HUSBAND: (makes low groan)
WIFE: "Would you let her sleep in our bed?"
HUSBAND: "Where else would we sleep?"
WIFE: "Would you replace my pictures with hers?"
HUSBAND: "That would seem like the proper thing to do."
WIFE: "Would you play golf with her?"
HUSBAND: "I guess so."
WIFE: "Would you let her use my golf clubs?"
HUSBAND: "No, she's left handed."

WIFE: ---silence--

HUSBAND: "Shit."


Saturday, December 10, 2005


(Thanks to Tom Maquire.)

Here's where my money is going this year:

Libby Legal Defense Trust
2100 M Street, N.W.
Suite 170-362
Washington, D.C. 20037-1233

Give until it hurts!



A Political Look at Hollywood

By James Hirsen

A NewsMax Report

Headlines (Scroll down for complete stories):

1. Disney Digitizes 'Narnia'
2. Crips Founder 'Tookie' Williams in the Hands of the Terminator
3. Rev. Al Sharpton Seeks Sitcom Stardom
4. Cable Bundling Controversy


Victory in Iraq - Read the Plan

(From Republican Party Chairman Ken Mehlman.)

Speaking at the U.S. Naval Academy, President Bush laid out the plan for victory in Iraq. America's strategy is clear: we will help Iraqis build a stable democracy, a strong economy, and security forces that can defend the Iraqi people and fight the terrorists. And we will never give in to the enemy by cutting and running before the job is done.

Read the President's complete Strategy for Victory in Iraq here, and write a letter to the editor to spread the word about the President's plan.

In Iraq, our troops' heroic work is paying off. Iraqis will soon vote in their third democratic election this year. Groups that boycotted earlier elections are joining the political process. On the security front, Iraqi troops and police are growing stronger and more ready to defend their country. Increasingly, Iraqis are taking the lead in joint operations to root out the terrorists. As Iraqi forces stand up, our troops' mission will shift away from patrolling Iraqi cities and towards hunting down the most dangerous terrorists.

In spite of the incredible progress made by our troops, some in Washington still are proposing artificial deadlines for withdrawal. This is not a plan for victory. Cutting and running would send a message to the terrorists that our will can be broken, inviting more attacks on our troops and on our homeland. It would tell our friends that America is a weak and unsteady ally. So long as George W. Bush is our President, America will never return to the dangerous, pre-September 11th illusion that the terrorists can be appeased by simply turning our backs.

In response to the President's clear plan, Democrats like minority leader Harry Reid offer empty political attacks, calling the President's speech "tired rhetoric" even before it was given. Yet these same Democrats agree with key elements of President Bush's strategy, with Sen. Joe Biden writing that "we must forge a sustainable political compromise between Iraqi factions, strengthen the Iraqi government and bolster reconstruction efforts, and accelerate the training of Iraqi forces." That sounds exactly like what the President is proposing. These Democrats fundamentally agree on what needs to happen in Iraq, but they're attacking for political gain. Are these attacks designed to help us win the war on terror, or help them win the next election?

President Bush offers a way forward on Iraq, not empty political posturing. Read the strategy and spread the word in your community.


Instructions For Using an ATM

(From Dan, our correspondent in the Commonwealth of Taxachusetts.)

Editor's Note: Any complaints hsould be addressed to Dan.

A sign in the Bank Lobby reads: "Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through teller machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles. Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts.

After months of careful research, MALE & FEMALE procedures have been developed. Please follow the appropriate steps for your gender."


1. Drive up to the cash machine.

2. Put down your car window.

3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.

4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.

5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.

6. Put window up.

7. Drive off.



1. Drive up to cash machine.

2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine.

3. Set parking brake, put the window down.

4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.

5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up

6. Attempt to insert card into machine.

7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.

8. Insert card.

9. Re-insert card the right way.

10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.

11. Enter PIN.

12. Press Cancel and re-enter correct PIN.

13. Enter amount of cash required.

14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.

15. Retrieve cash and receipt.

16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.

17. Write debit amount in check register and place receipt in the back of checkbook.

18. Re-check makeup.

19. Drive forward 2 feet.

20. Reverse back to cash machine.

21. Retrieve card.

22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided.

23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.

24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.

25. Redial person on cell phone.

26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.

27. Release Parking Brake.


For Catholics Only

(From Marian, our correspondent in Narrowsburg.)

This information is for Catholics. It must not be divulged to non-Catholics. The less they know about our rituals and code words, the better off they are.

AMEN: The only part of a prayer that everyone knows.

BULLETIN: Your receipt for attending Mass.

CHOIR: A group of people whose singing allows the rest of the Parish to lip-sync.

HOLY WATER: A liquid whose chemical formula is H2OLY.

HYMN: A song of praise usually sung in a key three octaves higher than that of the congregation's range.

RECESSIONAL HYMN: The last song at Mass often sung a little more quietly, since most of the people have already left.

INCENSE: Holy Smoke!

JESUITS: An order of priests known for their ability to find colleges with good basketball teams.

JONAH: The original "Jaws" story.

JUSTICE: When kids have kids of their own.

KYRIE ELEISON: The only Greek words that most Catholics can recognize besides gyros and baklava.

MAGI: The most famous trio to attend a baby shower.

MANGER: Where Mary gave birth to Jesus because Joseph wasn't covered by an HMO. (The Bible's way of showing us that holiday travel has always been rough.)

PEW: A medieval torture device still found in Catholic churches.

PROCESSION: The ceremonial formation at the beginning of Mass consisting of altar servers, the celebrant, and late parishioners looking for seats.

RECESSIONAL: The ceremonial procession at the conclusion of Mass led by parishioners trying to beat the crowd to the parking lot.

RELICS: People who have been going to Mass for so long, they actually know when to sit, kneel, and stand.

TEN COMMANDMENTS: The most important Top Ten list not given by David Letterman.

USHERS: The only people in the parish who don't know the seating capacity of a pew.


Friday, December 09, 2005

Saturday, December 03, 2005


A Political Look at Hollywood

By James Hirsen

A NewsMax Report

Headlines (Click here for complete stories):

1. Johnny Depp's France Dance
2. Bruce Springsteen's Senator Friends
3. Rob Reiner Peeved Over Taxes?
4. Snoop Dogg Joins the Tookie Fan Club
5. O.J. Feels Robert Blake's Pain


1,000th U.S. execution an occasion to mourn 600,000 murder victims

The following article appears at

by Mike Paranzino
November 29, 2005 12:50 PM EST

In the next few days, Virginia, Ohio or one of the Carolinas is likely to
execute the 1,000th killer since the modern death penalty was set in motion in
1976 with the Supreme Court’s decision in Gregg v. Georgia.

While death penalty opponents are marking the occasion with renewed calls for
abolition of the death penalty, those of us who work with crime victims are
recognizing a far more somber milestone. Since 1975, more than 600,000 American
men, women and children have been brutally murdered, including an estimated
1,800 who were murdered by the 1,000 killers put to death.

The full article can be read at:


Theodore Roosevelt on Immigrants and being an AMERICAN in 1907.

(From Gene, our correspondent in Washington Heights.)

Some may think Teddy's words have lost its meaning. John Howard, the Australian Prime Minister in a response to Muslim clerics wanting to substitute Islamic law for Australian law told them that if they didn't wish to be Australian they should leave the country. Americans should have no problems with the fact that its people speak a variety of languages PROVIDING THAT AMERICA SPEAKS ONE LANGUAGE. It's the only way we can assimilate into one national culture.

Teddy Roosevelt said it best:

"In the first place we should insist that if the immigrant who comes here in good faith becomes an American and assimilates himself to us, he shall be treated on an exact equality with everyone else, for it is an outrage to discriminate against any such man because of creed, or birthplace, or origin. But this is predicated upon the man's becoming in very fact an American, and nothing but an American...There can be no divided allegiance here. Any man who says he is an American, but something else also, isn't an American at all. We have room for but one flag, the American flag, and this excludes the red flag, which symbolizes all wars against liberty and civilization, just as much as it excludes any foreign flag of a nation to which we are hostile...We have room for but one language here, and that is the English language...and we have room for but one sole loyalty and that is a loyalty to the American people."


Best Prayer I Have Heard in a Long Time

(From Ron, our correspondent in Florida.)

Heavenly Father, Help us remember that the jerk who cut us off in
traffic last night is a single mother who worked nine hours that day and
is rushing home to cook dinner, help with homework, do the laundry and
spend a few precious moments with her children.

Help us to remember that the pierced, tattooed, disinterested young man
who can't make change correctly is a worried 19-year-old college
student, balancing his apprehension over final exams with his fear of
not getting his student loans for next semester.

Remind us, Lord, that the scary looking bum, begging for money in the
same spot every day (who really ought to get a job!) is a slave to
addictions that we can only imagine in our worst nightmares.

Help us to remember that the old couple walking annoyingly slow through
the store aisles and blocking our shopping progress are savoring this
moment, knowing that, based on the biopsy report she got back last week,
this will be the last year that they go shopping together.

Heavenly Father, remind us each day that, of all the gifts you give us,
the greatest gift is love. It is not enough to share that love with
those we hold dear. Open our hearts not to just those who are close to
us, but to all humanity. Let us be slow to judge and quick to forgive,
show patience, empathy and love.

Working for God on earth doesn't pay much......but His retirement plan
is out of this world!