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The Republican National Convention Bloggers
Monday, August 30, 2004
Why Some People Aren't Democrats
(From Dan, our correspondent in the Commonwealth of Taxachusetts.)
If you don't understand the Democrats' version of tax cuts (and you are not
alone), maybe this will help explain it for you:
50,000 people go to an Oakland A's baseball game, but the game was rained out.
A refund was then due.
The team was about to mail refunds when the Congressional Democrats stopped
them and suggested that they send out refund amounts based on the Democrat
National Committee's interpretation of fairness. After all, if the refunds
were made based on the price each person paid for the tickets, most of the
money would go to the ticket holders of the most expensive tickets. That
would be unconscionable.
People in the $10 seats will get back $15, because they have less money to
spend. Call it an "Earned" Income Ticket Credit." Persons "earn" it by
demonstrating little ambition, few skills and poor work habits, thus keeping
them at entry-level wages.
People in the $25 seats will get back $25, because that's only fair.
People in the $50 seats will get back $1, because they already make a lot of
money and don't need a refund. If they can afford a $50 ticket, then they
must not be paying enough taxes.
People in the $75 luxury seats will have to pay another $50, because they
have way too much to spend.
The people driving (or walking) by the stadium who couldn't afford to watch
the game will get $10 each, even though they didn't pay anything in, because
they need the most help.
Now do you understand? If not, contact Representative Richard Gephardt,
Senator Tom Daschle or Senator Hillary Clinton for assistance.