The Pamphleteer

During colonial times in America, if you wanted to convince or inform people about some issue that you considered important, you went to the local printer and got some pamphlets printed. You then handed them out, read them to anybody that was interested, nailed them to the town bulletin board, or the nearest tree. The first amendment was specifically written to protect this type of activity and the writers or "pamphleteers".

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Monday, September 12, 2005
Thanks To All The Lawyers...

(From Pamela, our correspondent in Bay Ridege.)

A few more items to make you feel a little more secure.? In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.

On a Sears hairdryer -- Do not use while sleeping.
(That's the only time I have to work on my hair.)

On a bag of Fritos -- You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (The shoplifter special?)

On a bar of Dial soap -- "Directions: Use like regular soap."
(...and that would be???....)

On some Swanson frozen dinners -- "Serving suggestion: Defrost."
(Just a suggestion, though.)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) -- "Do not turn upside down."
(A little late now.)

On Marks &Spencer Bread Pudding -- "Product will be hot after heating."
(...and you thought????...)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron -- "Do not iron clothes on body."
(...but wouldn't this save me time?)

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine -- "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication."

(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5 year-olds with head-colds off those bulldozers.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid -- "Warning: May cause drowsiness."
(...I'm taking this because???....)

On most brands of Christmas lights -- "For indoor or outdoor use only."
( opposed to what?)

On a Japanese food processor -- "Not to be used for the other use."
(Other use?? Like what?? Anybody?)

On Sainsbury's peanuts -- "Warning: contains nuts."
( about a news flash)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts -- "Instructions: Open packet,
eat > nuts."
(Step 3: say what?)

On a child's Superman costume -- "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."
(And this warning is there because someone thought it would!? Where were Mom and Dad?)>

On a Swedish chainsaw -- "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands
or genitals."
(Oh my God..was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)